One Layer of Me

Photo by Andy Li on Unsplash

there is so much life in here
but I am disappointed
to not be able to attend
I have too much to do
to stay awake for the party
I just have to be numb
to feel anything now
I won’t remember your name
right after we met or
I cannot always get it right
I thought we would grow old
and have our love grow old
and I would feel more alive
instead of being a head
that happens to have limbs
and somehow my organs work
and so this body moves and does the things
but I am not part of it
I am searching in my bag
for what I am searching for, still
I am trying to retrace my steps
to the place where I was taken away
or I left
or someone let go of my hand
or I bit pieces off of me
one layer at a time.

© 2020 Samantha Lazar

Poetry, fiction, and essays in celebration of being a Mom, Wife, Educator, Writer, & Lover of Life.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store